The Accidental Racist

There is a lot going on right now. We have people in the streets, destroying property, chanting black lives matter. Its scary, and it seems to be gaining speed. I wanted to talk about that.

First, let me start with one fact:  I am a racist.

I want to talk about it with other people who have the same or similar demographic I do. We need to have this discussion.

So, here is a middle-aged, white, hetero, guy speaking up.  (I can already hear the eye rolls)

Now, I grew up in the rural midwest.  My home town was predominantly white with the exception of the brown labor illegally shipped into man the slaughterhouse.  3000 people.  We were mostly good folks, a little afraid of the city perhaps (there were gangs there), and people didn't really go out of their way to hate anyone for the color of their skin.  We knew it was bad, there was a war fought over it, after all.  A few of them, actually.  But we knew who the good guys were and who the bad guys were, and if you called us a racist you were libel to get punched because we're good people and we did not tolerate that kind of disrespect.

I grew up really poor.  I didn't always get to eat 3 meals a day. Single-parent household, that sort of thing.  I'll admit, I didn't like it that I didn't have access to the same scholarships that POC did, but loans weren't predatory then, and I made it through, moved to the big city, and settled down.  My social circles expanded, I learned a lot, made some missteps.

In the first wave of BLM, I was against the concept.  People were so angry and, for someone who grew up being taught that giving favored status to anyone based on the color of their skin was wrong, it struck me at a very deep level.  It was against what I was taught, and I actually felt like ‘all lives matter’ was a better goal.  White privilege seemed horribly unfair considering the poverty of my childhood.

I see a lot of myself in many people today as the second wave of BLM took hold.  Especially in the voices from the rural areas, where the city folks can seem out of touch, and frankly a little scary.  I firmly believe that many of these voices are genuinely good people at heart.  These are the types of people that will pull over if you are stranded on the road and offer a hand, the ones who will look out for their neighbors or buy you a drink if it looks like you need one.

We pride ourselves in not seeing color, ask anyone!  Claiming a racial identity from another country generations removed seems a little silly because we sure as hell can’t be proud of our skin color! And we did away with slavery a long time ago.  Sure there are some racist folks but they are few and far between!  And to be called a racist?  Well, that is downright insulting!  Nothing could be further from the truth..

Except.. we are wrong.  We are racist.

No, it's not intentional racism, where you feel white people are just better.  It's worse.  It's accidental racism.  We don't even know we are doing it because it is so invisible to us.

Let me elaborate.

Regardless of who built what, who took land from who, etcetera, no one can argue, our country was created and grew primarily with white people in power (mostly men).  It is simply human nature, that when you create something, you make sure it works for you.  It's not evil, it's not malicious, it's just intuitive.  You buy a car that you like, that reflects what you want.  You furnish your home in a way that makes you feel comfortable.  The same holds true for building and nurturing a society.

White people were in power.  It was natural that things grew in a way that made those making the decisions comfortable and at ease.  This affects our culture on every level, from education to entertainment to law enforcement.  From our perspective, this is just normal, everyday life.. things are pretty smooth, they seem pretty fair.

This is what they mean when they say ‘white privilege’.  It means, we get to think things are pretty fair for everyone.  It means we don't have to see racism every day unless we really look for it.  It means we don't have to learn about things like the Tulsa Massacre, or modern-day lynchings.  It means we can rationalize images and memorials that serve to intimidate, are just historical.

What I am describing, is a subtle, oppressive set of rules and social mechanics, that were built to keep things the way they were.  It's written into our social bones, and this.. this is systemic racism.  It is built into the system we feel is normal.  Here is the really ugly part:  you don't have to be overtly racist to support it.  You just have to go with the flow and defend the status quo.  Boom!  You are supporting a racist system, and… guess what.. that makes you a racist.  Not intentionally, accidentally perhaps.

I get it.  We weren't going out of our way to be racist, and it is deeply emotional to be called one.  It goes against everything we were trying to be, and there is already so much hate directed at us.  This isn't fair!

But it isn't wrong.

Yes, we didn't set things up the way they are.  We didn't go out of our way to hurt anyone and we probably wouldn't have.  This is just normal and why can't POC just participate in the normal.. we will welcome them with open arms.

They can't.  It doesn't work that way.  History isn't even taught in a fair manner.  Law enforcement uses racial profiling which has been shown to be self-validating in multiple studies (meaning if you put any group under more scrutiny, you will find more problems.. but with law enforcement, there is punishment as well.)  Jobs, education, salaries are all skewed.  POC are subtly reminded that they are different, lesser, and not actually welcome.  How many black men do you know that don't feel safe walking in a nice neighborhood without an escort, out of fear of appearing threatening just for existing?

And yes, what we felt was normal, is being threatened.  It makes sense.  White people are no longer the majority vs non-white people in the US population.  That's going to mean some changes are in the works.  And that can be scary, because what happens if we start getting treated the way we have been treating everyone else?  (And at some level, conscious or not, you are probably asking yourself that.)  It is no wonder, there is an unconscious drive to roll back the clock to a time when this threat wasn't so present.  When things were more peaceful because the norms were not being challenged.  Nevermind the fact that things were peaceful because those oppressed were too fearful to speak up.

But things are changing.  They will continue to do so barring a forceful rejection of that change and suppression of those advocating for it.  Historically, that hasn't worked well, nor have people who have tried that been remembered favorably.

So.  Yes, if you are reading this, and are part of the white demographic, you may be feeling a little offended when I say you are a racist.  That’s natural.  It’s not really your fault, it was accidental.

Now is the time to do something about it.  You can get curious, start to listen, start to really think about being a part of the change to come.  Or, you can plan to dig in and fight, but if that's the case, your racism is no longer accidental.